Life Update - going 2nd quarter of 2024

 In all honesty, I re-read my last blog ( Read using this LINK) Here's the update in my life. 


Last time, I posted here was last November 29, 2024 and  I am still figuring our if I wanted to go back to school and guess what? I'm already in my 2nd sem  in FEU Tech and I am proud that last sem I have no failing grade in any subject. I am happy now as it is because I know I made it while working and taking test and trainings in my other work. 


Imagine the pain of not being able to sleep because you have work from 9pm - 2:30 am and you have a 7 am classes on site the next day. It really was a struggle and I didn't have the time to even review but I'm still thankful tha God has provided me good and golden grades. 

I am still studying, training and accomplishing all my requirements for Sunlife. I am just happy of this moment. 


However, this 2nd sem. I am unmovtivated and unproductive - and I didn't wanna say the reason but in my heart, I already know what demotivates me and It's sad. 


I may be happy but I feel like I'm sad inside and yet I have no-one to tell my feelings to. But I'm still alive? Ain't I? I am still alive? Am I still alive? 


Because there are days I feel like I just want to die.........................


and this disagrees with my trying hard to be positive.... 







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Honest opinion about Cubo De Bernardo

Cubo De Bernardo is a bed and breakfast located in Silang Cavite, offering a provincial life staycation. Here's my honest experience from our stay on September 30, 2023: Staffs are so nice & helpful! You can't say anything about them because they give you their 100% excellent service They offer four rooms, and initially, we opted for the largest one. However, after experiencing some discomfort and itchiness, we decided to switch to another room. Interestingly, our cousins, occupying the other two rooms, also encountered similar itchiness. Opting for a different room seemed to be the solution. Unfortunately, the next morning, we discovered that, we got a lot of bites!!  It was exclusive but since there was two exclusive room. We can hear the music/sound from the other room. Thankfully, none of us brought speakers, so the sounds wouldn't contradict.  We've allocated a total of 6,000 pesos for our group of six, which covers the accommodation and breakfast—a fantastic d...
Read more

Cubo De Bernardo ( My POV)

Our Cubo De Bernardo Staycation Jem invited me to go to La Union for me to be able to take a break from the mother life, but given our history. I wanted to tag my cousins along. I found a huge discounted cottage that is good for 6 pax yet amounted to 2500/night which compared to other rooms was a bit affordable.  I contacted them and they informed me that they weren't available since they we're working and I told them I wanted to come with them since I was upset that I wasn't available when they went to Puerto Galera.  I really want them to tag along but they weren't really available and because I understand how hard it is to be working. I understand the situation but they did informed me that instead of going to LU or PG, how about we look for a staycation instead for a different date.  After numerous of tiktok post, while on videocall. We have come to a decision to book Cubo De Bernardo.  Originally, we we're entice by the 3,799 pesos for 4 pax. I messaged the pag...
Read more

Facing my insecurities

As days passed by, I felt so lost and as I felt this. I became more insecure of myself and in this matter, things were different from me.  Have you ever had those days when getting out of bed felt like an insurmountable task? Days when eating seemed impossible because it felt like a form of self-inflicted pain? Times when your lack of happiness led to neglecting self-care, leaving you utterly exhausted and feeling like a total wreck? If you ever said " YES " to any of those questions, then we are the same. I often get called lazy by my mother but I just can't tell her that I had no more will to live, that my thoughts have become so dangerous that it's damaging my productivity and losing myself to something I can't even understand.  However,  I wanted to make a stand for myself and fight. I can't lose my life to my thoughts and my feelings then I looked at the mirror and saw this insecure girl who had absolutely no-one to hug her on times she can't fight bu...
Read more